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I may still be in my early 20’s…
However, I have already learned so much about life and already did so many things to make me a happier person.
To get to a point in my life where I could be happier and more confident with my self, which is how I am feeling now…
I had to go through many obstacles, big or small, to help me learn from every single one of them.
Everything that happens in life teaches you such a big lesson.
Lessons we need to learn to help guide us in life.
To help guide us to what we want to be and to what life we want to live in this lifetime.
I thought it would be important to share things I’ve learned and how they helped me because it could be relatable to you all and it can also help you.
Help you in a way where if you think you’re going through the most hardest and depressing stage in your life, no doubt you are but I am writing this post to help you feel less lonely.
Everyone goes through some or many hiccups in life where we wish we could just run away from our problems such as school, work, family etc…
But going through these difficult obstacles will also teach you such a big life lesson that will help you grow up and become stronger.
These are the things I’ve learned that helped my child like self grow up happier…
Perfection doesn’t exist:
Sometimes being a perfectionist is a good thing but it can be also the absolute worst!
I myself am a HUGE perfectionist. Which is hard to deal with because no matter what, I still don’t feel good enough.
Not only that but it had stopped me from doing a lot of things. It stopped me from doing things that I really wanted to do because I just simply felt like I was not good enough for the task which is CRAZY!
When graduating from high school I was looking at many possible fields I could go into in the healthcare industry but because of the fact that I didn’t feel like I was smart enough or good enough, I tried my best to not even think about it and not even apply to those programs because I knew I would just be disappointed and embarrassed if I didn’t get accepted or got accepted but not able to maintain good grades.
Even when it came to applying for jobs, I stopped myself from applying to many different jobs because again I felt like I wouldn’t be capable. Even jobs that paid min wage, I felt like I wasn’t good enough for it.
It’s all sounds crazy and dramatic, I KNOW! But its the truth. I was like this for years.
But what I’ve learned is that no matter what job you want to get, what degree you want to study, what skill you want to learn etc… everyone starts off being completely CLUELESS. You’re not going to know SH*T! So why should you stop yourself from starting anything new when regardless of the job whether it’s a really easy or a really hard job, you’re not going to know anything at the start and it will take time to know everything.
So don’t ever be afraid of going for jobs that are out of your comfort zone. Don’t go for jobs that pay less than what you need because of the fact its “easier”. Regardless, you’re going to have to learn everything from scratch so why not go for a job that YOU ACTUALLY WANT and deserve but too afraid of even applying for.
And when you do get the job and start your first day, NO you’re not dumb or useless. You’re learning. So don’t automatically think you made the wrong choice and feel you’re not the right person for this job.
If the job really matters to you then you keep going and learn as much as you can and keep practising.
Everyone starts as a beginner at first and it takes months or years to get to a point where you can feel like you’re a pro.
Don’t ever stop yourself from doing something you really wanted to do because of the fear of not being good enough or being perfect.
Perfect doesn’t exist so there’s really no excuse. All you can do is improve and it’s important to always congratulate yourself for every little thing you improved on because it makes you feel proud of yourself.
You will be surprised as to how much this will open your eyes to notice how much you’ve actually improved on.
It’s okay if your plan fails or if you don’t have a plan at all:
I don’t know if you can relate but I always have to plan my future. I’m not necessarily a person that plans when going out, I’m more of a go with a flow with those kind of things but when it comes to the future I always have to have a plan and a back up plan.
I like when I can see my future clearly and I like to know how my life is going to go.
But since leaving high school, oh man have I learned that the future can not be planned. You can try so hard but just like the reference from one of my favourite movies “Back To The Future”, the doc always says “you’re future is not written, so make it a good one”.
I love this quote because I’ve learned the meaning behind this and experienced it.
My plan when leaving high school was to go to film school and graduate and find a job as a film editor and so by the time I graduate, I can buy my dream house and start a family. I tried so hard to make this happen even when I was unhappy about my choice of degree.
So many things changed ever since I told my self that sometimes plans fail and when I let that plan go and completely accepted that I have to move on…
So many great things happened after I did this.
I am doing things that I feel good about now, nothing feels forced. If I had continued forcing myself to stick to a plan even though it made me unhappy, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
Things happen for a reason and plans change. If one plan fails that doesn’t necessarily mean YOU failed in life. Certain things happen so you can move on to better things.
The future is not written, things will change no matter what and no matter how much you plan. So stop feeling like a failure when things don’t go the way they are suppose to. They happen for a reason.
There’s no deadline, things take time:
Just like what I was saying in my last point about how things take time…
It’s important to mention that another meaningful thing I have learned in my early 20’s is that there is no deadlines when it comes to things that you want to achieve in life.
I feel like many of us are living life thinking that there’s a deadline when it comes to having kids, going to school, buying your first house, finding your dream job etc…
We are always doing whatever we can so that when we reach a certain age, we will have the things we wanted when we turn that specific age.
But what happens is that everything becomes rushed and we should never rush anything into our life.
Good things come when we’re not even looking or when we’re not forcing things to happen.
Sometimes when we are forcing and rushing things into our life, we bring something into our life that wasn’t suppose to be there. It wasn’t something that was for us because of the fact that we forced it’s way into our life, instead of just living life letting things happen naturally.
Usually the things that just come to us naturally are the kind of things that make us happier.
I am not saying you shouldn’t fight for the things you want but if nothing good is coming out of this then is it really suppose to be a part of your life?
I don’t know if I make sense but…
I am now 23 years old and Im not where I imagined myself to be, I imagined by this age to be working a job that is my life purpose. I imagined to already have enough money to move out and have my own place. I imagined to be getting married and having kids soon and that’s not how it is right now.
However, I learned to accept that there is no deadlines. There is no age limit. Certain life goals don’t need to be achieved at certain ages, it happens at the perfect time FOR YOU.
I may not be where I thought I would be at age 23 but I am happy.
Yes, I do have some bad days and even weeks where I start to get into funk where I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing but isn’t that how it is with everyone?
Just because I’m not where I imagined and don’t have things I want yet, that does not necessarily mean it won’t happen. I am grateful for the things I have now and where I am right now.
If I had forced my self to stick with film school, a career path that wasn’t making me happy anymore just to make my future plans come into reality and not have to go back to school where I have to re-start my life and push my plans further, I would have probably got my self in a situation that was going to make me unhappy.
Although my plans did not happen at-least I can say that I do things that make me feel good, I am not forcing it.
And so don’t ever let your age stop you from doing things you want to do. It’s never too late to let go of something that no longer makes you happy to go out and find something that does, even if that means going back to school or just starting from the bottom again.
You can never be prepared for the future no matter how much you plan, so just go with the flow and just focus on making yourself happy.
You won’t always be satisfied:
Along with growing up and being in your early 20’s, you’re learning more and more about yourself and exploring many things.
One big exploration being in your early 20’s is finding what makes you happy and finding a job that is for you. A job that is going to make you happy and emotionally fulfilled for the rest of your life.
All of us have different goals for the future and they always change. My goal is to just find a career that is meant for me, that suits me. A career that will make me feel alive while being able to pay for a small cozy house for me to live in to raise a family.
And so what I’ve been trying to do for the past few years is that I’ve been trying to explore what careers are out there for me and what careers are going to make me happy.
One thing about me is that if something doesn’t make me happy, I will get it out of my life.
When I realized working in film wasn’t for me, I really just wanted to work on finding something that does. I really just wanted stay home and take a break and focus on what I want.
I spent probably a year and a half being unemployed and this was during the pandemic so I was stuck at home that entire time.
It really made me upset and depressed staying at home. All I wanted to do was get out there and work but I had no idea what I wanted to do for work, especially now that film is completely out of the picture for me.
It’s funny because while I was staying home doing nothing, I was miserable and just wanted to do something. I just wanted to work. But then when I was working or studying for school (which was technically considered a full-time job because film school was a lot of work), I always just imagined and wished I could stay home with my dog and do nothing.
Anyways, after spending a year and half not knowing what to do with my life, I was researching different degrees I could study in school that didn’t take a long time to finish…
I ended up stumbling upon a pharmacy tech program at a private college that was a less than a year program. Which is funny because it was something I remembered reading about in one of those college brochures in high school but I was thinking “nah, I’m not smart enough for that”.
Within the next month I started the program and fast forward to a year later, I am now working in a pharmacy.
I have great hours, great co-workers, a great work-life balance, great bosses and what I do is fun.
When I got this job, I was incredibly grateful and happy. Everything I wanted from a job that I wasn’t getting from film, I was getting from working as a pharm tech.
It’s stable, exciting, never boring, there’s always something new to learn and I’m helping tons and tons of people.
However, there’s a important story I’d like to share…
There are bad days working as a pharm tech, just like any other job as well. But good thing enough I’ve learned how to get through bad days.
However, there was one bad day where I completely felt burnt out. After this terrible day at work, I started to relive the negative thoughts and feelings that I was dealing with prior to this job.
I was having a whole week of being in this “funk”.
It was a moment again where I started to feel like I didn’t know what I was doing. I felt like once again I was doing something that isn’t for me.
I always have this feeling that I’m suppose to be doing something much bigger than this, a job that speaks me.
I started to question all my decisions in life. I even started to think about film school for a moment and started thinking if it was the worst decision I made, maybe I should have kept trying and not given up…
That’s when I started to realize that no matter what, no matter what job you have or dream of having. You won’t always be 100% satisfied. There will always be some things or at least one thing that you wish were a part of your job but isn’t.
Even if you think that your dream job will not have any disadvantages, there will be but if you’re at least doing a job that you think is worth having, then you must learn how to be grateful even if it’s not perfect.
Like what I keep saying, perfect doesn’t exist so why be sad when life isn’t perfect.
I am not saying that you shouldn’t keep chasing your dream job or stop finding it. But don’t think that by getting your dream job, it will stop you from feeling unsatisfied.
Getting your dream job doesn’t mean that everything will be perfect now. Of course you could potentially be happier but there will still be things to complain about just like any other job.
If you genuinely love your job and can’t imagine doing anything else, don’t let bad days question your whole career path. Don’t put all your focus on the few disadvantages of the job that makes you unhappy, focus on all the amazing advantages of your job that makes you happy.
My point is, no matter what you wont be 100% satisfied. Staying at home all day doing nothing will make you feel not satisfied enough. Going out there to work and not stay home will not make you satisfied enough. Working a min wage job vs your dream job will not make you satisfied enough. Even if the job pays way more than a min wage job, it’s still going to be stressful so it’s important to find things to be grateful about.
My job is stressful and the work I do is not really appreciated by a lot of people but it still gives me everything I wanted from a job that I never got previously and so I am still in a way better position now then I ever was.
Trying many different careers are okay:
Maybe a lot of you can relate but growing up, constantly changing your dreams and changing what degree to study was considered a bad thing.
My dad would judge his kids who constantly changed their mind when it comes to what kind of job they would like to do. He kinda made it seem like we didn’t have our life put together or we give up too easily when we do this.
This is why I most likely never wanted to let go of certain things that no longer made me happy anymore because I was scared to look like I was weak and that I just give up easily.
But in my 20’s, I’ve learned that it’s not a bad thing to be exploring what makes you happy. If that takes working so many different jobs, studying so many different degrees or learning so many different skills, why should that be considered a bad thing?
Exploring many different things in life is how you learn more about yourself. It’s how you learn what makes you happy and what doesn’t, so that you can sit down one day and say “okay now I think I have an idea what would be perfect for me”.
It we all just sticked to one job for the rest of our life or sticked to one skill (that we want to have and learn for the rest of our life) to just look more organized and put together for everyone else…
We would miss out on everything that’s out there in the world that we are capable of doing. There’s so many jobs, skills, and things to learn that we would miss out on if we just only focussed on one thing.
If I didn’t explore other career options after film school and had just focussed on one career to look more “put together” for my dad, I wouldn’t have learned that I am actually capable of so much more.
I am actually capable of doing a job that I thought I was too “dumb” for.
I didn’t think a job with a perfect schedule and work load exists.
I wouldn’t have figured out that there are other things that are capable of making me happy.
Also from this I was able to grow more self-confidence because it taught me that I am capable or learning new skills from scratch.
How will you find your “dream job” if you keep sticking to one thing that doesn’t make you happy anymore. You will only find out if you let go of your past and move on.
Everyone’s dreams always change but you can’t start a new one without letting go of the old one.
Don’t ever let people judge you for being adventurous. Don’t ever let people make you believe you are a quitter and that you give up too easily. Don’t ever let people think your life is falling apart. Don’t ever let people think you don’t know what you’re doing…
Everyone in this world doesn’t know what they’re doing. We are just great at pretending that we do. Everyone in this world is learning.
So stop living life focussed on what others are thinking about your life choices because they should be focussed on themselves.
Keep on moving, learning and experiencing…
That comes to an end in today’s post.
This post was personal and I did share a lot of things that I just keep to myself.
However, my new purpose in life that I am trying to achieve is having everyone else in this world feel connected to one another because in reality we are the same and we are all going through the same things.
They may not be 100% exactly the same but we all feel the same things and think the same things.
You are not alone in this very confusing journey of finding out what you are suppose to be doing on this earth.
I am still trying to find that out my self and just going with the flow and doing thing that make me happy.
